SELF-ASSESSMENT
About 12 years ago, I was in the middle of pursuing my graduate degree in psychology. I chickened out of taking the LSAT to attend law school, an educational goal since I was a child. Unfortunately, as a Type A personality, I was not satisfied with my first attempt at the exam. My emotions bounced between failure, shame, disappointment, and fear. I never once asked myself what was wrong with me. I never questioned why I was experiencing those feelings; I just assumed or took for granted that it was best to move forward. For me, moving forward meant doing something I had some success with and enjoyed, which was psychology. At the suggestion of a classmate who was also pursuing a master's degree in psychology, I enrolled in the master’s program.
It was great; I learned so much and decided I could use my degree to support my legal studies. Feeling slightly more confident by the end of the master’s program, I took another shot at the LSAT. Another disappointing failure. What was wrong with me? I had very high GPAs; I had my associate degree in paralegal studies and worked as a paralegal. I was certified as a mediator and volunteered at the local court. I loved learning about government and the law. Despite the LSAT having nothing to do with the law, I thought my critical and analytical thinking skills were excellent, which is what the exam covers. However, when it came to taking the exam, I was proven wrong each time – or so I thought. No, it was not fear of taking exams.
During a human behavior course, I had an epiphany. The class discussion focused on conducting assessments-how to initiate them, gather information, and use the collected data to make an assessment. The instructor directed us to conduct self-assessments as if we were our own patients. The results would not be shared with the class; therefore, the assessment could be conducted from an honest perspective. My assessment was a revelation, and I learned a lot about myself. Not all of what I learned was good. It brought on a heavy-hearted, headache-inducing, and tear-flooding feeling. It was a great personal experience. I learned that I am human. I am a combination of environmental influences and hereditary traits. I also have my own goals that have nothing to do with the people around me. The pursuit of a legal degree was not of my own volition, but rather my perception of what others around me thought I should do.
The pressure I was putting on myself was to accumulate a surplus of social currency. If I were a lawyer, people would look upon me favorably. Being a lawyer is still regarded as a valuable and valid profession. Taking and passing the LSAT, especially on the first attempt, would have signaled to others that I am intelligent and capable. Or so I thought. My self-assessment revealed that I had a lot of work to do on myself. I cannot live someone else’s dream or perception because I will never be truly successful in my life.
As a leader, I have always recommended, and continue to recommend, that everyone practice honest, regular introspection. Understanding our strengths and weaknesses is essential to being the best leader we can be. Knowing our true preferences saves time, money, and energy. Self-assessments help us hire the right people, work with the best people, and be better coaches, supervisors, and managers. Assessments are valuable tools and should be used regularly because, as humans, we continue to evolve in our likes, dislikes, tastes, opinions, values, knowledge, and skills. This lack of staticness is important to our emotional and psychological constitutions.
Assessments help prevent us, as leaders, from being horrible leaders. They keep us in control of our emotions, reactions, and behavior by helping us understand what triggers us, recognize those triggers, and respond appropriately. When selecting candidates to work with, we can identify behaviors in others that may not align with our own or with those of employees already on the team. Assessments can also help us, as leaders, know when it is time to move on from the organization or transfer to a different role. Self-assessments are also known as performance evaluations in professional contexts. Regardless of the title, assessments should evaluate how one works in teams and collaborates, what motivates them, leadership styles, problem-solving and decision-making skills, behavior and reactions in work conditions, communication, and adaptability. I also believe that evaluations should include EI (emotional intelligence) and negotiation skills.
Self-assessment transformed me into a transformational leader. I learned that I enjoy serving others in their development or livelihoods. I am a teacher, mentor, and advocate by nature; hence the belief that a legal career would best suit me. It also explains why I preferred a psychology degree and why I became a mediator and a paralegal (on the administrative side of legal practice).
Self-assessments or performance evaluations can be found through a simple Google search. Some exams cost money, while others are free. Some are work-focused, while others can be used for more personal purposes. I provided a few links to help you get started, including Kenjo, Lattice, The Change Forum, and The Start of Happiness.
Taking assessments annually and monthly is a worthwhile investment in yourself as a leader and as an employee. Remember to be as honest and open as possible to receive the greatest benefit. Also, keep some tissues on hand just in case.
By Nick Higgins
