STOP…AND DRINK YOUR COFFEE
One of the things that irritates me as I have grown older is not finishing my cup of coffee. Even at home, not finishing a cup of coffee grinds my gears. I have only myself to blame because I get distracted and forget all about the very thing I dreamed of waking up to. Recently, I decided to avoid distractions and finished my cup of coffee. Notwithstanding that it is a waste of money, it is a tangible reminder that I did not focus enough attention on myself. I am not taking the time to enjoy something; I am not taking the time to taste the flavor, smell the aroma, and carefully sip this delicious hot drink. Instead, the habit of drinking coffee in the morning had become routine, and drinking coffee had become a basic step in daily life.
I recall my decision to resign from a job I absolutely loved; my assistant was upset and asked me why I was quitting. I remember telling her, without even a pause or thought, that I could no longer function appropriately in my role. I had burned out. It was true; I had burned out completely in my role. I no longer wanted to be in the workplace; I no longer looked forward to coming to work. The position had become a harbinger of negative experiences and thoughts. The place where I had spent most of my time and the job I had put before so many personal things now sent me into such a depressive state that I eventually started seeing a psychologist. Through counseling, I realized I had sacrificed my personal time, breaks, lunch breaks, and time off. I was so into the job and doing everything I could that I inevitably made myself incapable of doing it well. By trying to be the best leader at doing it all, I had become a terrible leader. I realized this when I had lost three aunts, lost the department I started in, and had been publicly humiliated by the CEO. Suffice it to say I was a mess, but I knew I could not continue as a leader.
I learned a lot about myself during this troubling time, but there is one takeaway I will always look upon with pride: I knew when to leave for my own good and the good of the people I worked with. I should have taken more time for myself. I should not have spent so much time at work. I should not have brought work home with me. I should have taken time off to grieve the deaths of my family members. I should have taken time off to spend time with my daughter and help her care for her newborn. I should have taken time off to spend time with myself. I ended up isolated and alone anyway, by the actions of another and by my own actions.
Whatever it is that you can do to give your mind a break from work duties, do it. As leaders, we don’t do this enough, and it shows. Our teams suffer because of it, our work suffers because of it, and our companies will see it as a liability. There is nothing wrong with being focused and driven, but we need to understand that those qualities can blind us to other problems. We are susceptible to losing sight of the bigger picture; we are not present for those team members who need us, and we become sitting ducks for those who do not have our best interests at heart. Focus and drive can render us deer caught in the headlights. Steadfast focus and drive can turn us into the leaders we swore we would not be.
My advice to leaders is to take their time, not in pacing but in scheduling, and, if necessary, to set aside personal time for themselves. Don’t dedicate every minute to the job because the job doesn’t care; it can find another body to lead. Take a moment to clear your mind by going for a short walk away from the work environment. Have lunch away from the workplace. Take a 15-minute break, or two 15-minute breaks. Close your eyes and meditate for 5 minutes. Schedule a personal day off and don’t do anything related to work. Adopt better time-management tools. When you get that cup of coffee, take your time and actually finish it.
By Nick Higgins
