The first step

I've been questioning lately why people seem rude in their behavior, or if it is just my mind. Every day at work, a simple greeting is met with cold stares and no acknowledgment of my presence or my greeting. I typically tell associates to ignore customers' rudeness – do not take it personally – and I still stand behind that statement. However, the rudeness is so egregious and blatant that, while I continue to tell associates not to take it personally, I also highlight that it is unacceptable. It is not acceptable to be treated as if you do not exist. There is no reason to be rude to someone you do not know. It is not justified to enter a place of business, someone’s home, school, etc. and behave as if you are better than.  

I deal with this rudeness by greeting the customer again, but in a stronger, louder tone. Almost as if I am correcting their behavior or making them aware that they are being rude. The latter is a scary stance; in society, we are so accustomed to being rude and not acknowledging others that we are no longer aware of when we are displaying such behavior. I have seen people make fun of others by displaying simple manners. I have heard people question another person, “Why are you saying hi to them?” “Why did you smile at them?” It is utterly disgusting to ask someone why they have manners.

You lose nothing for smiling at another person; you are not less than by acknowledging another person, and you are not dumb for saying hello to another person. We are not less connected as a society; we are more connected and ruder. The pandemic did not change how we behave toward others; it highlighted our biases, ignorance, and defiance in learning and evolving. The internet exposed this truth as well.

Evolving customer experience efforts is a way to modify this behavior. People model the behavior they witness, which is why we are seeing a rise in rude behavior: they want to belong to the larger group. There are examples of this everywhere we look: the latest trend, the latest consumer fixation (e.g., Stanley cups, keychains), and TikTok. When society questions the latest beauty craze or beauty standard, we are observing the innate desire to belong to groups.

Psychologically, it is painful not to belong to a group; there is countless video content that discusses the male loneliness epidemic, living alone, eating alone, traveling alone. As humans, through our biological and psychological existence, we have learned that it is dangerous to be alone or different from the group. Our very survival depends on being part of the larger collective. Being part of a collective provides us with higher self-esteem, emotional support, identity, and a sense of purpose.

Creating consistently positive customer experiences can change how people interact with one another. Greeting a customer with a purposeful smile, genuinely welcoming people into your business, or actively remembering returning customers are great ways to begin an engagement that will set a positive foundation. It awakens a person to their rude behavior; it prompts behavioral change to fit the environment they are entering. Fear of being different or of being perceived as different leads people to modify their behavior or leave the environment they are in. The strong feeling of discomfort is one that humans want to avoid at all costs.

Implement and follow the standard rules of engagement:

·         Make eye contact; actually, look at the person in front of you!

·         Smile and nod to the person in front of you; acknowledge them.

·         Speak clearly and with intent.

·         Remember that the reason you have a job or provide a service is because of these very people coming to your business.

I am constantly reminding myself of these practices. It takes patience and repetitive action. It is worth it in the end. As a collective, this is how we survive. By developing great customer experiences, we stay in business, build brand loyalty, and achieve longevity.